he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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