on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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