She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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