im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
