there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
