Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
