The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
