His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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