Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
