drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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