i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize