the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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