operation harelip BJ is a go
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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