Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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