You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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