I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wish i was in the wii world.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
