wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
