this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
