You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
