where am i from again
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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