Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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