I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
