Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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