I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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