Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just blew my weed a kiss
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
