What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
