We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
