does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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