Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
