my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
