I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
