i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
