How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
