we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
only you would photoshop your dick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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