Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
