the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
