Me too!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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