What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
