Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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