Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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