It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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