Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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