you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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