When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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