Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
