Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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