I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
