of course. lets lasso hookers.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
