My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
