Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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