Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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