you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You can't just leave with hair like that
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
