I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
