just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
