I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
