I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize