Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
