We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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