what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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