How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
