Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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