so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
