Duck Duck Cougar?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think a kid would responsible me up
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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