I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
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I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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