My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
